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Raising children just isn’t as easy as it used to be! by Felina Silver Robinson

Like peas in a pod our children are unearthed and birthed into this unknowing world. Given a clean slate of what lies ahead. The world will become their oyster. Our role as their parents is to guide them safely through life until we can sem them out into the world on their own. In doing so, we have to teach them morals. The lessons parents learn are usually a start to how they choose to raise their own children. Quite often the choice ends up being that the opposite is done in rearing their own children. Times have changed in so many ways. There do remain places that you can leave your door unlocked, and your car keys in the ignition and know that they’ll be there when you return. Those places however are few and far between today.

It’s hard in today’s society with the rules now placed upon parents. Many come from a time when just the right twig could be torn from just the right tree and placed upon the back or the buttocks of the misbehaving child. That was replaced with slaps to a bare bottom with a strong upper hand. During the school day, students were punished by sitting in plain view of their classmates with a dunce cap upon their head or they were slapped across their hand with a ruler a designated number of times based on their punishment.

Today, children threaten their parents with a call to department of children and families or to the police should they even think of raising a hand to them. The law now deems it illegal in some states to spank your child. Leaving some parents to be parented by their own children. This is not to say that violence is the answer in any case. If you ask me, people have been conditioned to believe that being physical with an individual whether for good or bad, gets the most desirable response in the end. However, most often, situations get out of control and all you’re left with is anger and unresolved issues. Quite often, affected individuals end up being even more violent than they initially were.

Which brings me back to how difficult it now is to raise the children of today. It feels like  children have the upper hand. Today, children talk back and tell their parents that they “have a voice”, “they’re old enough to do what they want without our permission. “I don’t have to listen to you”. At any given moment they will turn on their heels and walk either into their bedroom slamming the door then putting on their headphones to block out their parents; or they walk out the front door feeling powerful enough not to turn back or check in. Now defiance rules.

Not all is lost. There still remains a large number of very mild mannered children that are introverts and don’t like noise. Thus making them somewhat more submissive and easier to control, meaning that they are more likely to accept whatever is asked of them.

Parents must decide how they can win back the respect that shouldn’t have been lost in the first place. Parents should never feel powerless. They must know that here is always a better answer than violence. The best thing we can do for our children is to always listen to what children have to say and make them feel like they are a part of both the discussion and the resolution, which should include their punishments. Talking through actions can help individuals see where they went wrong with the hope that they will realize that their is always a better or different way to get what one wants or needs. This is most definitely attainable without hurting others. Time as well as careful thought and consideration of all involved brings amazing results.

 


Out to Sea©

By Felina Silver

Copyright© 1998

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My friend she travels here and there

Although she’s smiling, her pain is clear as can be

As she seems full of sadness

 She sounds as though she misses home

And all of whom she loves

 Traveling sure takes its toll

When you are out to sea

A never-ending yearning for what use to be

She sits there with her husband, lover, and friend

Although he’s everything she ever hoped for

She still seems to be missing her friends and family

 There seems to be no substitute

For the love of family and friends

 No ocean big or small

No sunset or moonrise

Nor the stars at night

 Why not come home my dear friend

For we miss you just as you miss us


Organized Chaos©

Copyright 2013

By Felina Silver Robinson

We are not always aware of what we have

We are not always willing to see the offers before us

We may hold our eyes closed to our reality

In the end we always know what’s coming

We always know that steps that need to be taken

To make all that needs to happen, happen

Sometimes we must call on the unexpected for help

But we swallow our pride

and what needs to be done

Gets done

and we have achieved success


Changes in the Wind My Friend©

Copyright 2014

By Felina Silver Robinson

No longer will you get away with

All that you’ve done

Everyone is watching you

You have no say in where you might be going

The hand you passed the ball with

The hand that held me tight

Close in the dead of night

It’s the same hand that sent me crying

For fear of dying

When you threatened to keep on trying

Until someday when I wasn’t looking

You would come undone

And finish what you started

Well my friend

I just thought you just might want to know

That change is in the wind

Now the shoe will be on the other foot

You’ll be under the scope for all to see

So all that you’ve done will no longer be a secret

Everyone will know what you’ve done and l

Will be sitting in wait to pass judgement on you

Change is in the wind my friend

I’d like to see you quiver,

I’d even like to see you cry

Just so I know you are human

And have real feelings

Just like the rest of us

May you now learn how to treat me better

May you come to know true love

May you learn to give without having to take

May you learn how to both ask as well as give forgiveness

May you see the changes in the wind

And open your arms and embrace it

Copyright 2014

Changes in the Wind My Friend©

Felli


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When you met everything was pure and simple
Through the years much changed and anger and resentment built up
She wanted things from you that you didn’t have to give
She was angry and unforgiving
Her anger came out in violence
She left you battered and bruised
As a man you didn’t want to hurt her, but her abuse was worsening
She tried to kill you
You had no choice you struck out to defend yourself
Now she had the upper hand
She was no longer the abuser
She was your victim
You found a way to leave her and move on
You were determined to find love and happiness again
You reconnect with a past love but don’t tell her yours
Somehow she connects with your ex and the new-found happiness has ended
You move once again with regret
For now she thinks you’re an animal
Inside you feel it’s true
Now you’re begging for forgiveness and hoping find love once more
You look to friends for absolution
They recommend that you move on
But remind you that honesty is the best policy
For no one likes liars or surprises
He pledges to be trufull you can only hope for and wish him happiness
Reminding him that he has to first forgive himself before he can move on
You hear a silence noting his awareness of all he now has to do
Who ever thought finding happiness would be so hard

Regret – When the shoe is on the other foot©

Copyright 2016, 2017

By Felina Silver Robinson
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I wrote this poem in response to a story a friend told me of his romantic woes. I advised him to let his new love go. The trust was gone and the feeling of safety was absent. There could be no successful relationship there as it all started with a lie. I advised him that in the future he would always have to be honest or he would never find happiness. I so hope he will give it a try.


Comfort for an old friend©

Copyright 2013

By Felina Silver Robinson

He cries out in pain not knowing why he suffers
Alone once again he finds himself
Having to start anew
Wondering why his own face is not one of those in the sea of lovers before him
He wants only to be loved
Wishing he knew all the answers
He calls to me for advice
I tell him to cleanse his mind of sorrow
Look ahead for change
Change his path from last time
Listen to her needs
Be selfless in your actions
Have willingness to support her dreams
Be her partner and her friend
Remove the hole in her heart and make her whole once again
Love will find you when you are about more than “you(rself)” and more about “us”
Then I’m sure you’ll find happiness when you too comfort an old friend


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Making the best you there is©

Copyright 2013

By Felina Silver Robinson

The season has now change and
Fall is upon us
It’s time for things to change
You have a chance to do things
All over again
Start fresh
Leaving the bad of yesterday behind
Keeping whatever was good with you

New things will blossom
There is a new found hope
Maybe a chance for love that was lost
A chance to right a wrong
A chance to be the you, you always wanted to be

Just as the leaves change their color
You can change your direction
Fear not if your choice is wrong
Three months til your next chance for change
Until then, make the best you there is