Archives For Opinions
Raising children just isn’t as easy as it used to be! by Felina Silver Robinson
Like peas in a pod our children are unearthed and birthed into this unknowing world. Given a clean slate of what lies ahead. The world will become their oyster. Our role as their parents is to guide them safely through life until we can sem them out into the world on their own. In doing so, we have to teach them morals. The lessons parents learn are usually a start to how they choose to raise their own children. Quite often the choice ends up being that the opposite is done in rearing their own children. Times have changed in so many ways. There do remain places that you can leave your door unlocked, and your car keys in the ignition and know that they’ll be there when you return. Those places however are few and far between today.
It’s hard in today’s society with the rules now placed upon parents. Many come from a time when just the right twig could be torn from just the right tree and placed upon the back or the buttocks of the misbehaving child. That was replaced with slaps to a bare bottom with a strong upper hand. During the school day, students were punished by sitting in plain view of their classmates with a dunce cap upon their head or they were slapped across their hand with a ruler a designated number of times based on their punishment.
Today, children threaten their parents with a call to department of children and families or to the police should they even think of raising a hand to them. The law now deems it illegal in some states to spank your child. Leaving some parents to be parented by their own children. This is not to say that violence is the answer in any case. If you ask me, people have been conditioned to believe that being physical with an individual whether for good or bad, gets the most desirable response in the end. However, most often, situations get out of control and all you’re left with is anger and unresolved issues. Quite often, affected individuals end up being even more violent than they initially were.
Which brings me back to how difficult it now is to raise the children of today. It feels like children have the upper hand. Today, children talk back and tell their parents that they “have a voice”, “they’re old enough to do what they want without our permission. “I don’t have to listen to you”. At any given moment they will turn on their heels and walk either into their bedroom slamming the door then putting on their headphones to block out their parents; or they walk out the front door feeling powerful enough not to turn back or check in. Now defiance rules.
Not all is lost. There still remains a large number of very mild mannered children that are introverts and don’t like noise. Thus making them somewhat more submissive and easier to control, meaning that they are more likely to accept whatever is asked of them.
Parents must decide how they can win back the respect that shouldn’t have been lost in the first place. Parents should never feel powerless. They must know that here is always a better answer than violence. The best thing we can do for our children is to always listen to what children have to say and make them feel like they are a part of both the discussion and the resolution, which should include their punishments. Talking through actions can help individuals see where they went wrong with the hope that they will realize that their is always a better or different way to get what one wants or needs. This is most definitely attainable without hurting others. Time as well as careful thought and consideration of all involved brings amazing results.
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What should have happened…by Felina Silver Robinson
Bethenny Frankel is a single mom. Time is not something she has a lot of. She like many of us wear multiple hats and Bethenny is no exception. Bethenny is a mom, a reality tv personality, and a business owner. When she finally has the time to go shopping, I’m sure much like me, she has everything thought out and timed.
In an article published in Eonline entitled “Bethenny Frankel Rants About Kmart Workers Who “Speak No English,” Is Dubbed a “Racist””. Bethenny was called a racist. This truly got my blood boiling. Bethenny meant no harm and certainly wasn’t being malicious in her ranting. Bethenny’s only hope at the time was to find someone, anyone that spoke English that could help her with something as simple as shoes. I’m sure we have all been in the very same place. I know that I certainly have.
I know that we live in a free country which is the reason that so many people choose to come to the United States. There have been many occasions where I couldn’t get the help I needed due to language barriers. It’s always been my feeling that if you work in an area where helping customers is key, then you definitely need to be able to speak the language of the majority.
To be compared to Donald Trump is outrageous and an outright insult to Bethenny. She truly did not deserve that. People say a lot of nasty things when they don’t think they will have to answer for it and of course it is a lot easier to do over social media.
People should tread lightly when talking about race. It’s not so easy to take things back once said. Situations such as these can cause irreparable damage. Bethenny deserves better treatment than this.
There are definitely more serious matters that people should be spending their time on.
When We Let Race Get In The Way©
By Felina Silver Robinson
Right before the holiday break BHS (aka Brookline High School) put out its latest edition of the Sagamore. As both a parent of two separate generations of children at BHS and being a former graduate, I am always interested in hearing about what’s going on at BHS. I was excited to see what was going on. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get past one of the cover page articles entitled: “Back to School Night altercation follow-up leads to show of solidarity.”
I’ve lived in the town of Brookline for all but the first three years of my life. Brookline is more than important to me. I have always urged my children to both trust in and believe in the Police Department as well as all of its municipalities. I have friends and neighbors who are a part of the police force and they have been there when I’ve needed them. This is why I am now perplexed by the current events that have taken place.
Police officer when on duty or off duty must always retain composure and present themselves in the appropriate manner as their actions reflect the entire police department. Any driver must always observe their surroundings and safely operate a motor vehicle. Motor vehicles are deadly weapons. Driving in a school area is supposed to be in a reduced speed. Looking for parking spaces are supposed to be done airing on the side of caution assuming that students or other pedestrians are most likely walking around the area. The off-duty officer in question and not named in the article was driving with his ex-wife and teenage daughter also not named in the article came upon Juliette Estime, Gabriela Torres and two other students not named in the article. The Officer unsafely approached the students with his car. The students were standing in a space that the officer wanted. A verbal altercation ensued and it wasn’t pretty. Race language was thrown into the mix. The students were left feeling unsafe about the entire situation and just wanted to get away from it all.
The meeting was meant to bring some level of closure to the students but instead, it brought them questions as to why there was no reprimand for the officer nor was there an apology for the students involved.
How can Chief O’Leary say that while what the officer did was wrong, they don’t find him at fault for what took place. This in itself is a total contradiction. If the students continue to see that there is no reprimand or recourse at all for the actions of those in power, they will find it harder and harder to both respect and trust those in power.
Unrelated to the aforementioned incident, I’ve recently learned of other incidents involving officers of color being treated badly by their peers and the use of racial slurs putting the officers of color in uncomfortable enough standing that they don’t feel comfortable coming to work or working for the Brookline Police Department any further. Why does it feel like we are slipping backwards?
Please note, that I know that there are many officers that conduct themselves properly and have nothing but the utmost respect for their peers and I value each of those individuals.
I want what everyone else wants and that is to feel safe in my surroundings and to always be able to respect and trust in those in positions of power. We need to be sure that all of our police officers also feel safe in their work environment while at the same time all officers conduct themselves appropriately whether on-duty or off.
Acknowledging wrongdoings still comes with some sort of reprimand. An apology goes a long way, but only when the sentiment is truly meant by the deliverer.
Brookline is a wonderful place to live. I would hate for anyone to get the wrong idea about what goes on here. There is certainly more good than bad. But when and if bad occurs, we must deal with it and NOT brush it under the rug. We must care about the messages we send to both the children and the adults of our diverse community.
With that being said, I’m pleased that at least BHS is now offering a Racial Awareness class. I think it should be mandatory for at least Freshman and Seniors. It would be great if it was required each year, but I’m not sure if that would work staff wise. This course is key for the proper understanding for all party involved as to how key race is in our relationships and understanding one another.
It’s my hope that all of the current issues can and will have the appropriate outcome for all involved. May everyone choose to stay strong, stand proud, and conduct themselves with pride
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I was 100% proud to be a resident of the town I grew up in. That was until I came across a book that detailed the town’s bylaws in the late 1800s and early 1900s and realized that slavery was a key part of the town’s makeup. No person that was Native American or African American was permitted in the town unless they were a slave. This book depicted slaves as property and were thought to be less than human and without rights. For months, I was just so angry about what I had read and determined to change what I had read in black and white. Then I realized that, that was then and this is now. I realized that we can’t change what’s occurred but can make sure that history changes in the years ahead.
I am proud to say that I am somewhat of a mutt when it comes to my race. I will say though that I’m primarily Native American, some African American and a few other things I won’t mention. Whatever I’m made up of, I’m certain of and that is that I’m fully human with just as many rights as any other American. Coming from a mixed family allows me to see people as people and not a race or define them by the color of their skin.
The “perception” that people are speaking about is the perception that has been handed down from one generation to another. Try as we may to pull people out of their ignorance by educating them it seems pointless if they’re not willing to open up their hearts to honestly accepting the differences that are presence and then just simply ignoring them and seeing each person as just that, another person.
The reality is, no one race is responsible for their presence here on this earth, that is due to a higher power or evolution or whatever or however you want to label it. Therefore as has been over and over and time and time again, let’s just learn to live together for all of our sakes.
Most people on this earth have been educated in one way or another and can certainly understand that working together without conflict is obviously much easier to do than being on opposite ends of things and always finding a reason to be at battle with one another. If we all respect one another than there is no reason for discontent.
By Felina Silver Robinson