Archives For Independace

In the New Year

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In the New Year

I’ll be stronger

I won’t let anyone steal my thunder

I won’t let people step on my feelings

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In the New Year

I will learn to say no when I need to

I will say yes when I want to

I will give when I’m ready

and I’ll take when I’m ready

I’ll leave when I’m done

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In the New Year

I’ll be stronger

I’ll stand taller

I’ll fight harder

I’ll learn to take care of “me”

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In the New Year

I’ll get to know you better

So that maybe I can love you better

I’ll sport a smile more often

I’ll even make an attempt to laugh at more of your jokes.

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In the New Year

was written by

Felina Silver Robinson on 12/26/13© Continue Reading…

Today we celebrate Labor Day
A holiday that we don’t have to differentiate who the day is meant for
We can celebrate it how we feel we want to honor ourselves and those
That we know have worked so hard for themselves their families
To have something to be proud of
To offer a part of themselves and earn something for being good at it
To help the place they live in and call prosper
We inspire ourselves
We motivate others
We try something new or stay with something old
What ever we do, we do it with pride
No matter where in the world we might be
Man, woman or child, we have something to celebrate
Today I celebrate remembering my first jobs as
A babysitter, newspaper carrier, assistant to an editorial consultant and a waitress, working at the library, town hall, police station and court-house during high school for business coop,
All those jobs before I started college

Do you remember your first job(s)? I’m sure you have much to be proud of too. Enjoy your celebration.


Haves and Have-nots

We take what we have for granted every day
Life is a daily struggle for some
Missed opportunities
Some without rights or food
Others with no clothes to cover their backs
No schools or substandard schools
Doctors are scares and medicine is even more scares

We are lucky to be free
What we don’t have, we can most often get or it is gotten for us
We are fortunate because if we can get it are the haves and not the have-nots

If only everyone could be in the world of “haves”

My Motivational Phrase of the Day (08/21/13)

Appreciation for those you love

As parents we don’t have it easy
We have to check out our children’s friends
We have to check out our own friends
We try to make sure our children are safe
It’s not an easy job while our children try to keep their own independence
Each day we question the job that we are doing
It’s not easy hearing all the stories in the news
We wonder what we should share with our children to keep them safe
None of us want to be the one to have a child go missing
We do all that we can do
Is it ever enough
Never stop trying
Never give up the fight
Some how, some way things will turn out right

This was written in honor of Adrianna Horton. May she be returned to her parents quickly and safely!

I deserve better

Inside, I feel like no one sees me, no one knows me
I do things to get attention so I’m no longer invisible
I don’t feel good doing it,
but it’s better than not feeling good because no one cares

Why haven’t you heard my cries?
Why must I torture myself to get you to care?
Now will you see me?
Now will you care?

Will you believe me?
Will you change me?
Will you keep me? Or will you give me away?

I know I deserve better
Because now I care
I care about living
I care about dying

Won’t you help save me? I deserve better!

This poem was written for all those that feel helpless and cry out for help, hoping someone will hear.

I Deserve Better©

Copyright 2013

By Felina Silver Robinson

Trapped inside the shell of my body

We come into this world in a perfect little shell
Full of chances, promises and opportunities
We have to do our best to keep up our outer shell
That’s what people see when they look at us
It’s what they see when they decide…
…decide to befriend us, love us, hire us, learn from us or whether they want to be like us
Treat your shell well because in the end that’s what people will see..
…see when your time is done and they just want to remember you.

Recently I had to visit someone that I have known since my childhood in a Rehabilitation Center. She has always been a nana to me and I was truly devastated to hear she was in a situation where she couldn’t take care of herself. I knew nothing about her condition prior to visiting with her. I called the Rehabilitation Center to make sure that she was still there. The woman on the phone said she wasn’t there. I replied that she had to be, as I was told the previous night that she had been brought in. The woman looked again and said she saw her name but could find her. After looking again, she was able to find her. I asked what the visiting hours were and I was on my way.

I arrived at the Rehabilitation Center. It was pretty on the outside and in a very nice part of the town. It’s decorated nicely. Definitely quite welcoming in appearance. Things definitely change when you get in the patient rooms.

Upon entering my Nana’s room, I’m immediately smacked in the face with the smell of self deification. The smell is so pungent that I immediately have the urge to vomit and my eyes start running and my throat is soar. My Nana’s roommate appears to have lost her mind talking to herself the entire visit and yelling out various comments and statements.

Once I peered behind Nana’s curtain and was again hit with an even more pungent smell than from her roommates side of the room, I was saddened to see how fragile she had become. Her small tight quarters was very unkept. Her medicine/food tray was filthy, still full of trash and spills. Her portable toilet was full and smelled horrible. She herself had soiled herself and was wearing soiled hospital socks.

Upon first look, Nana couldn’t tell who I was. But once I was closer she could both see me and hear me and knew exactly who I was. She told me how much she missed me and how happy she was to see me. I showed her pictures of my children who she loves and has cared for through the years. Suddenly, without cause she started bellowing. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she was happy and sad at the same time. She said “some people are really nice and some people are really mean to me. I want to go home.” I asked her what had happened and why she was there. She couldn’t quite remember other than to say that she has trouble standing and that there was something wrong with her legs. She asked me to try to find out when she w going to Revere to live. I went out to the front desk and spent more time waiting to speak to someone about my Nana than I had actually spent visiting with her. It was clearly obvious that I needed to speak to someone. One nurse was eating her lunch, the other was on the phone. They both just looked at me. After 10 minutes, I asked the woman eating her lunch if she could help me. She asked me with what I told her. She said I’m on my lunch break, but she should be off the phone in a minute or two. It ended up being 20 minutes before I realized that she was talking to one of Nana’s friends who had her Healthcare Proxy. I asked to speak with her so I could find out what was going on. I told her what I had observed and that I wasn’t at all happy. She told me that she was working on everything and not to tell my Nana what was going on.

I returned to Nana’s room to kiss her goodbye. I could stay no longer as I could no longer stand the smells around me.

I was angry that no one seemed to care about the patients they were supposed to be caring for. If only they imagined themselves in that very condition being treated that same way. I told my husband that I never wanted to end up in a place like that, pretty on the outside, deplorable on the inside. Please make sure that wherever your loved ones end up that it is in a place that you could see yourself in. If that doesn’t seem to exist, then don’t leave them there, because some day yourself may be there.

I hear you talking, but I can’t make out the words

I realize it’s because you are uncertain if I’ll care,

so you mutter with each breath

Security doesn’t befriend you,

so you trust not what you say,

fearing that we’ll all betray your innermost feelings

you opt to say no more,

Each time you whisper,

I wish I knew what to say,

because I am certain that I do care what you say,

but each time I near you, you turn away,

until one day a just hold you, and plead to know

what you want to say,

and each word flows quickly, and happily,

all the while you did know what to say,

no longer will their be whispers in the wind


What’s in a name?

My name is Felina, which means “cat like”. Thinking of who I am, the meaning doesn’t really match my personality, or maybe it does. But the name felt like a natural fit when it came to mind. Felina replaced the name that I was born with, which was Robin. Robin means “famous”. Who wouldn’t want to be thought of as famous? I definitely do, but I just didn’t like having a name that is shared with boys and/or men. I needed my own identity.

For many, their name is important to them, it makes them who they are. How many times have you heard someone say, “Oh you look like a Susan”? Or That something a John would say.

If I take all the people I know and group the by name and think about their personalities, the funny thing is, most often they share most of the same behaviors, likes and dislikes.

When parents are feverishly trying to come up with baby names before and after their babies are born, they’re normally trying to please family members and see what sounds good with their last name. It’s not an easy task, because in a sense you are branding the child when you give them their name. Unless they decide to change it down the line like I did, they will carry it with them to their grave. That’s big, and certainly warrants the time and consideration that goes into it.

When people get married, they have to think long and hard as to whether or not they will carry their partners last name or stay with their own. Often times, people feel they lose their identity when they take their partners last name in marriage. This is something that should be discussed as a couple so that no one gets surprised and it ends up hurting the relationship that both parties worked so hard to build.

Today, I’m thinking of Prince William and his wife the Duchess of Cambridge (Catherine) as they work hard to find the appropriate name for their royal son. I wish them much love and god speed and they address this major challenge. I know whatever they decide, we will all be proudly awaiting their decision.

I’m Done

07/08/2013 — Leave a comment

I’m done with waiting for things to change
I’m going to make a difference in the world
I’m going to make people want to stand up and listen
I’m going to make people want to be a part of change

I’m done with listening to broken promises
I’m done with being the reason why nothing changes
I’m done with giving chances

Now I stand proud of all that I believe
Now I stand proud of all that I know
Now I stand proud of all that I am

Now I know that I’m done waiting and
that I now stand proud to do all that I need to do