Archives For Relationships


By Felina Silver Robinson

Lately I’ve found that although those that you’re close to tell you they want you to “keep it real” in the relationship you have with them, that’s not at all what they really want. Most of us have feelings about a lot of things which means we are seldom likely to share the same opinions as those we spend most of our time with. Religion, money, raising kids, marriage, relationships, and education are obviously the most common things that people argue about, aside from politics which can often be the elephant in the room. Although conversations can be bumpy, once the they start, I think it’s important to talk them through. None of us like the feeling of unresolved conversation! It’s best to realize what we are uncomfortable with, talk about it until we can’t tolerate it anymore, and then whatever we can’t handle we can break it down into separate conversations. I’ve noticed that people are actually just overwhelmed with so many things that they are uncomfortable with, but when given a chance to break it down they realize that the conversation wasn’t as bad as they thought it would be.

There are however subjects that some people, despite how important their topic matter, just won’t agree to discuss, even if it would be helpful. That’s the time you just have to respect each other and know that there are some things you won’t agree on. Relationships are hard enough to keep up without adding yet another thing for the relationship to have to work through.

Different ways to “keep it real” in your life:

1. Be tactfully honest with others about your feelings. Lying about your feelings just makes the relationship more awkward.

2. Make sure the time you spend together whether in discussion, relaxing or going out, that those involved get an equal say in what goes on. It may be helpful to give each person a number so everyone in the group is given a chance to choose the activity or discussion. No one likes or appreciates feeling left out of the conversation or an activity.

3. If there is someone who you don’t want to take part in a specific event or conversation than don’t talk about it in front of them. One of the many keys to a successful relationship of any kind is always being sensitive to the feelings of others.

4. Don’t let your relationship get “stale,” try to add new things to your conversations, try new things, new restaurants, visit new places. Become adventurous!

5. Keep complaining to a minimum and try to find a more subtle way to let someone know that you might be uncomfortable with participating or, if you are plain just not feeling well. Broadcasting such situations may set the wrong tone for a group gathering and it tends to change people’s feelings about those that continuously draw attention to themselves when the attention should be elsewhere.  As we all know, there is a right and a wrong time and place for every conversation and every action.

 


Wild Hearted In My Dreams©

Felina Silver Robinson

My Poem of the Day

(03/17/15)

Stripped of all that’s normal

I’m bare and I’m free

I run wild between the trees in the wilderness with thee

Hoping that no one will see

You bring life to my soul

My spirit is alive for a time

Not long enough for me

Before the alarm bell rings

and life gets in my way


Promises Made©

Felina Silver Robinson

My Poem of the Day

(03/16/15)

Image result for images of promises made

You promised to see me through my formative years

You told me you would always be there

We had our moments here and there

But mostly I spent my days missing you

If I could I would go back in time to easier days

To try to get it right this time

But I know it wasn’t meant to be that way

So I sit by

Praying for the moment that you’ll find some time for me

And

That promises made will not be forgotten


Through The Years©

Felina Silver Robinson

My Poem of the Day

(03/15/15)

There hasn’t been a moment since I first laid eyes on you

That I haven’t missed the smile upon your face

Nor the slight snort when you laugh

The way your hair glistens when hit by the sun or

The smell of your perfume even before you enter a room

I think of when you kept me up all hours of the night when things just weren’t right

Or you just couldn’t bear to say goodnight

There were days I thought our friendship wouldn’t last

But deep down knowing that it always would

Our friendship wasn’t perfect

But it was one to remember

There was no doubt of our devotion to seeing it through

I wish there wasn’t a reason that I now sit here without you

Remembering all that use to be

As you fly high now over me

I hope you will always remember me


On Our Toes©

Felina Silver Robinson

My Poem of the Day

(03/14/15)

Tanya Nichols 1.jpg Tanya Nichols Sleeping Beauty.jpg

From

Roberts House

On our toes in

Ballet class

Friends for life

Just as Delores Claiborne taught us to be

We made some wrong choices

Sometimes men would avoid us

Eventually we found what we believed to be love

Our hearts were mistaken and our love was forsaken

But we refused to kick love out the door

Even when we knew what was in store

With our men in control

Our minds not our own

We could no longer get out the door

Your man seemed to have lost his mind

And the unthinkable had to happen

He went on pretending he had not done it

Thinking someone else was guilty

I sit crying

Realizing

That there was nothing I could have done to save you

I wasn’t there

I had no idea of the pain he had put you through

You painted a picture

Full of happiness and glitter

But in your voice I knew the truth but couldn’t bring myself to tell you

Because I was once just like you

now sadly you are no longer here for me to tell

As your man ended all of your dreams

And now all you do is watch over me

From high in the heavens above

Some day we’ll be together again

Dancing on our toes


In Loving Memory

of

My dear friend Tanya Nichols


By Felina Silver Robinson

It is sad what our society has done to men. That fathers have left their sons with an inability to show emotion for fear that they may not appear to be strong. Let me be fair to state that this is not necessarily today’s men, but definitely men of the late 50s and those before them. In today’s age we have to live life with feeling and compassion. There is so much going on where we must have the verbal ability to comfort those in need when the time warrants it. Unfortunately, not all people seem to be equipped with that ability. Let me be clear in that there is a difference in a person that is just angry at the world or that just doesn’t want or like being around others and the difference between a person who just has a severe lack of communication skills because they never learned them as a child. It is clearly the parents responsibility to start the communication piece in their children, and the sooner they start the process, the better off everyone will be. Parents can’t assume that a child will be able to learn such skills on their own. Leaving them without them can be harmful to their adult relationships, especially their marriages.I have hope for all of us men, women and children. It’s ok to feel and it’s more than ok to talk about what your feeling. Together, we can all be strong communicators.

Please consider the following resources:

Helping your children communicate

Social Skills: Promoting Positive Behavior, Academic Success, and School Safety

Helping Teens Develop Healthy Social Skills and Relationships: What the Research Shows about Navigating Adolescence

Ten Ways to Improve Your Interpersonal Skills


Life has continued to bring me a mix of good and bad. The good is a loving family who is healthy for the most part. The bad is hearing of loved ones lost.

Last night one of the worst things that could have ever happened to me happened. While checking on Facebook updates last night an old high school friend sent me a message saying that we needed to talk. I messaged her with my phone numbers and waited to hear back from her. I got off from Facebook and returned to spending time with my family. My husband was fast asleep as was the rest of the house when I returned to Facebook to see if my friend had sent any further information, she had not. So I started reading the status feeds. To my horror, I came across a message from my friend saying good-bye to our mutual friend who I had wished a happy birthday to after receiving a Facebook Alert for her birthday. I immediately broke out into hysterical tears at even just the idea of our friend being gone. I started to search the internet for her obituary. To my extreme horror I came across an article outlining the story of her murder. I was enraged! Angry because I was so happy to have talked to Tanya again after so many years of falling out of touch after my 30th birthday party. There was a small group of us that were close friends as we had all taken dance class together at Brookline High School. We remained in contact with one another through the years with some spots here and there.  I had planned to come see Tanya back on November 1st, but there was some shooting that happened around her area and we decided to wait until things cooled down a little bit before taking our kids for a visit. We spoke a few more times before the holiday and to my disappointment fell out of touch, which is why I had no idea that she had passed. The most troubling for me is that we had spoken of the man accused of killing her.  She left out some details in that she had taken this young man in off the street, which is something I had done. Tanya and I were a lot alike as was our other friends in the group. That’s what brought us together. We all connected on many levels. As I write this message, my stomach is turning with such anger and resentment for the man (John Devine of Marblehead) that took the life of my friend. I will be forever be left with the words from our last conversations where she spoke so lovingly of the man who beat her to death. My heart truly goes out to Tanya’s sister (Sabrina Joyce). I remember that Tanya’s parents (Leon and Doris (Mallouf) Nichols) had both already passed on. I’m only glad that they did not have seen or hear of their daughters torment and murder. Now at least they are reunited. Today’s lesson, don’t let time erase your memories nor the bonds of your friendships. Stay close to those who hold meaning in your life always letting them know that they matter. Once they are gone, it’s too late!

All is will be well in just another day in the life of ME!© By Felina Silver Robinson