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Diane Kruger, Joshua Jackson


What I see when I look at the sea© by Felina Silver Robinson

I sit upon the largest rock
Facing towards the morning sun
I look out into the wide open land of ours
I see a brand new day for each and every day
Filled with hopeful things you see
We only have time for good things ahead
The future ahead has taken all that’s bad
And thrown it out to the sea
Never to be seen or heard from again
What do you see when you look at the sea?

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Birthdays© by Felina Silver Robinson

Birthday’s come
Birthday’s go
We all have a list
Of what to do this year
Has anyone out there done anything
I’m forever making plans that never come to fruition
This year I’m certain there’s going to be a change
I’m more than determined to make certain this time
That I set out to do all that I can to complete my tasks
A birthday is a time for new beginnings and for wiping the slate clean
I can’t wait to begin my charge to make all that I must do be done before next we convene again

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The old tree of mine© by Felina Silver Robinson

On a warm summers day when I was still young,
I planted tree to keep me company
The dirt I dug up from the park behind our house
The tree so small and mighty
I hope for its growth to be strong and plenty
The leaves so grand and supple
The flowers that sprout each spring
Smell sweeter than lilacs
I sit for hours just staring out at that tree
It makes me think of all the places that I want to be
When the petals fall beneath my feet
I have the urge to dance and share all my dreams
The petals seem to be like dear old friends
When winter comes to whisk them away
I sit peacefully waiting until spring next returns
To bring the leaves back to my tree
So that I can see all that I can see even if it is all only a dream

Note to my new readers: About my “Poem Bursts” – I give myself 30 seconds to one minute, and then write what comes to mind. This is a fun writing exercise I give myself to come up with something different from what I might usually write. I hope you enjoy the outcome.


Trust© by Felina Silver Robinson

It’s quiet
I now have time to think
To clear my mind of all the cobwebs
All the talk, the nonsense, and the rumors
Trust is where it should be
There’s no lying or cheating here
No need for cross examination
Nor giving the 3rd degree
My ears are open
And I sit here willing to believe you
Trust is what is needed to go from start to finish

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Nature© by Felina Silver Robinson

Nature is free
It’s beautiful when it wants to be
And it belongs to all of us
Nature is lives and nature dies
But should come as no surprise
That sometimes nature kills
Not because it wants it’s just its design
Its power and its strength wraps itself around you
Sometimes it whisks you up and then tosses you away
Sometimes it watches you then strikes you down and then leaves you
Sometimes it rises up and swallows you whole and spits you out when its done
Hopefully you’ll survive natures wrath to prove to her that you can treat her right

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I’ve got you© by Felina Silver Robinson

When all is wrong and all is right
I’m glad to know that I’ve got you
When my heart is aching when mom is gone
When she’s not coming back because
God has come and taken her
When dad couldn’t live without out her
And left in haste to join her
I know you’ll be there to hold me
When all the children are gone
To start their lives making their own families
I know you’ll find a way to keep me happy
I thank the lord that I found you

Note to my new readers: About my “Poem Bursts” – I give myself 30 seconds to one minute, and then write what comes to mind. This is a fun writing exercise I give myself to come up with something different from what I might usually write. I hope you enjoy the outcome.


My Poem of the Day

(10/10/14)

All Caught Up©

With promises from you

I’m all caught up on what I have to do

You give me ultimatums of what I must do

To keep me here with you

There’s no way I’m going to lose

The things that mean the most to me

So I’m going to do all I must do to keep me here with you

I’m all caught up

With nothing left but you

Copyright 2014

 All Caught Up©

Felina Silver Robinson


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Domestic Violence: An unwanted past, an unwanted future© by Felina Silver Robinson

Due to things that happened in my own life at a young age I seemed prone to relationships with abusive men. I know they had their own past but I was determined not to allow them to steal my future. It appeared that I was a magnet of sorts for problem men. They looked good on the outside and even did good things. They let me see the side they needed me to see so that I would submit to all they wanted. When the time was right and the trap was set, they struck bit, by bit, by bit. The first time I was just purely naive with little to no experience with men. So much so, I had a miscarriage and didn’t even have any idea I was pregnant. After the miscarriage, the abuse started. It felt like I allowed to happen until I found myself unconscious on the bathroom floor. Waking up after 3 days not realizing what had happened to me or why. I just had to take some sort of action. I maneuvered my way out when my boyfriend had gone to work. My father retrieved me and took me back home. After two years of unspeakable violence, one miscarriage and one child, it was over. My mistake was not getting help once it was all said and done. I had no preparation telling me what to look for the next time around.

Just two years later I found myself with what I thought to be an amazing man. After 4 years we were married. Literally, the moment the ring slipped over the knuckle of my ring finger, my stomach dropped. Something felt so wrong. I brushed it off and felt it had to be nervous jitters. We enjoyed our reception, had a strange honeymoon and then returned home.  Things started getting uncomfortable because he was always angry about something. There was nothing I could do to satisfy him. Then he decided he was mad because we lived in apartment that we paid rent for above my parents. So his sister bought a condo for us to move into. Little did I know it was really so she could control my husband.  My husband being angry at her, took it out on me and things just went from bad to worse. One day it got so bad. My then 4 1/2-year-old daughter found me cowering in a corner because I had been kicked in the stomach. 4 days later I had a miscarriage. Time passed and things got no better. 5 and 1/2 months later I decided to move to New Hampshire when a good business opportunity arose. Luckily, I had already filed for divorce. Little did I know however I was 3 months pregnant with my second child. That wasn’t going to make me turn back. After a year, the business that had sent me to New Hampshire sent me home.

I had no put my older daughter in school and was lucky to have onsite daycare at my new job for my baby. I was able to walk to work in 10 minutes things couldn’t get any better. Divorced for two years, my friends thought it was funny and they published an add in a local paper and fixed me up on a blind date. He was sweet. Much bigger of a man than I normally felt comfortable with, but there was a subtle warmness to him. He became my big teddybear. After dating for only 4 months, we were married. Two months afterwards we were married. A month later I miscarried. Not too long after I was pregnant again. at Christmas time a change came over my husband I saw a side I hadn’t seen before. It was ugly and violent. He would call from work saying horrendous things, he had done unspeakable things to both me and my children. After slamming me, his then pregnant wife against the wall, I kicked him out. Come to find out he had bipolar and had taken himself off of his medication, thinking that since he was supposedly happily married he had been cured. Boy was he wrong. Click here to read more on that story. So much went wrong after that. A restraining order and two separate arrests. I had no choice. I kicked him out for the final time.

Almost four years later, my mother-in-law reminds me that her son has been gone for a while and that Seth needs a man in his life. I really wasn’t ready, I had been through so much. My niece and eldest daughter took matters into their own hands and put an ad in our local newspaper in the singles section. There I found my third husband. This was by far the best and worst of all of my relationships to that point. Every moment of every event, I remember. Every word, every threat, every promise, I remember. To this day, I still live in fear of him. There are no words that anyone could ever say that would take away my fear of him. No one should ever have that power over another person. Even with my tubes tied, I suffered two more miscarriages and gave birth to a set of twin daughters and a final daughter two years later. Bringing my total number of children to five girls and one boy. Unfortunately, each of us fell victim to the unforgivable actions of my husband. So many lies, broken promises, manipulations, beatings, assaults of all sorts and other unspeakable acts. I know of no other family that despite their struggles to remain in tact. There is certainly a large amount of emotional scars. Some of which not even time can heal, others that time has already healed. The permanent restraining order that I hold on tight to gives me little to no comfort. It’s the support of friends and family that brings me the happiness I need. I thank goodness for the three true men of my life.  My dad who although quite strict and firm showed love and affection, my son who despite the violent male role models in his life still came to be the man I hoped he would become and to my current husband, who is the one man that has ever showed me the love, care and patience the me and my children always needed. By the time my divorce became final, too many years had passed. But my husband was patient. We lived together for two years before getting married and are now coming up on four years of happy marriage. I often find myself wondering why this amazing relationship couldn’t have happened first, but I of course know it was to give me the six gifts sent from the heavens, my children. I wouldn’t change anything if it meant that they couldn’t be my children.

With all this said and done the cold hard reality is that it shouldn’t take a celebrity, being abused before Domestic Violence becomes an important issue. Domestic Violence has been around since the beginning of time. If you think about the behavior of the cave man clocking his woman over the head and dragging her hair, that barbaric action should have been a true sign of Domestic Violence and how insignificant the feelings of a woman has meant to a man since the beginning of time. With this being said, Domestic Violence affects men, women and children. Victims can be sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, cousins, nieces, nephews, grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, friends, or neighbors. Domestic Violence can be inflicted in so many ways, whether it be physical, verbal, emotional or sexual, the fear that holds its victims hostage is real. Sometimes you see, bruises, scars, or dismemberment. Sometimes you can’t see the physical scars, but you notice the behavioral changes in an individual that’s been abused. They will pull away at even the idea of being touch. Victims may not be able to hold a conversation around a topic related to their family and relationships with particular members that may be abusing them. Roommates can also be party to domestic violence relationships, as long as you are living together in the same place when the abuse occurs you are considered to be in an abusive situation.

The reality is, there just haven’t been enough every day people willing to put themselves out there to the proper authorities, when they are abused. Sometimes they will get so far as to go into the police department to press charges then refuse to follow through and testify. Domestic Violence kills it is no joke and there is often no coming back from your injuries. All victims must understand the importance of getting out of the situation quickly, but safely. Let as many people know and trust as possible about what is going on in your situation so that the authorities are more apt to be able to help you when and if the need arises.

If you end up having to move to keep yourself and/or family members safe, make sure not to share information with people you don’t feel you can trust, especially those who may have had a close connection to your abuser. Change your normal returns so that your abuser can’t keep track of you the way they did before. This might sound scary, because it is, but it will keep you safer in the long run. Just be aware of your surroundings at all times.

The most important piece of advice I have for you is to seek domestic violence therapy. It truly helped me and changed my life for the better. If done properly it can help you live a life with much less fear and learn skills so that you don’t find yourself in a repeat situation. Unfortunately, life gives us no guarantees we have to do our level best to make sure we find ways to make things function the way we feel we need them too. Thereby ensuring we have the best tools to do so.

The internet is a great thing, we now have access to more information than ever before from the comfort of whatever place we want it. Take advantage of it. There’s no excuse. When you are strong enough and safe enough, find a way to help others get stronger and we will be one step closer to ending this horrendous infestation of violence.

Please note: This write up is purely my own opinion based on my personal experiences and based on what I’ve seen as I went through my own process. I’ve read many articles, attended many groups, spoken to and advised many other women and a few men based on my experiences.


My Poem of the Day

(09/22/14) #2

I’ve Had It©

There is no end to what I can do

No ease in what I have to say

I can do it with or without feeling

On any given day

But I’d like the comfort of you warmth

And

The feel of your touch

When we are together it’s just magnetic

Which is why I have to end it

Because I just can’t seem to get anything done

And

I’ve had it!

Copyright 2014

I’ve Had It©

Felina Silver Robinson