Archives For Life Experiences


Growing up it was obvious that I was different from most others around me. I spent the first three years of my life living in Boston, MA.  The street I lived on wasn’t conducive to families with small children. There were no parks in the immediate vicinity for children to play and there were no front or back yards. The children had only their homes or the sidewalks.  When my mother married my step-father things changed and we moved to Brookline, MA.  Things were different there.  There were parks everywhere and everyone seemed to have kids. Some houses had both a front and a back yard, while others had one or the other. When we moved to the Brookline Village area of Brookline in 1966, our neighborhood was predominantly filled with Irish Catholic and/or episcopalian families. In our immediate vicinity, there were a few Jewish families and a couple of asian families.  Then we came along. My mother is Native American and my step-father is polish, but my birth father was both Native American and African-American along with some other mix.  So we were the mutts of our neighborhood. I don’t recall seeing any other family like ours for several years, but that didn’t really stop anyone from befriending us.  I was confused about was how to refer to myself. When I was old enough to ask, I would ask my mother about our Native American Heritage, but she never offered much of an explanation or details of our other family members or what being Native American meant to her or anyone else in her family.  It ended up being something that we just didn’t talk about. We never really talked about being any one race. It was sort of ignored and we sort of acted as if we were just like anyone else.

I thank my dad (my step-father).  He is a Harvard graduate.  He along with my mother made sure we did more than well in school. Education was important.  I was just frustrated that I had no education on who I really was and where I really came from.  During my younger years, it wasn’t the one thing to be proud of being different.  In fact, it was actually frowned upon to point out your differences.  If you weren’t white, you were just classified as being African-American and nothing else. The funny thing is, now when I think about defining who and what I am and where I came from, I still draw a blank. Through History, I have come to learn about all that each race has endured and overcome. I choose to hold onto all that I know myself to be and try to be proud of it all. But I find myself being most interested in the Native American part of me, and I think that is because I live in Brookline, MA a place I know that many Native Americans first lived. Like in most other places they lived the land that they knew as their own was taken away from them and they became enslaved upon that land  or died on it trying to protect it. Only the white man was allowed to freely live on the land here and anyone else was considered a slave. The sad thing is, this was not taught to us during any of my school years. I found this information in a town book I came across belonging to my husband that his father had given to him when he was first a town meeting member decades ago. Reading the pages made me cry. In fact, I found myself nauseated by each page I read. It suddenly feels strange to live in a place where you grew up having one vision of your life, but now knowing the real history behind it changes the view I have now. I think it’s important for people to know as much as they can about where they come from and where they live to better understand who and what you are.

No matter what, each person should try to find a way to find comfort and peace with who they are and what part or parts of you, you feel most comfortable with. Otherwise, it will be hard to find true happiness in your life.


A girl so full of life

carries as smile on her face

to hide the hole in her heart

from the love she’s missing

she’s filled with sadness and envy

She longs for any piece of happiness

and paints pictures of how she hopes life would be

is it wrong to live in the land of make-believe

If she only knew that others loved her

then maybe she could love herself

maybe she could see herself as others do

open your eyes little one

dry your tears

because everyone is watching

open your heart and just

live happy and carefree

you have all that you need

with a friend in me

I’ll help you through each day

so you can live again

there’s is no one better than your best friend

Now the smile she carries is real

and the whole in heart has healed

for she no longer lives in envy of others

Now they live in envy of her

for she brightens up the room each time she enters

All her pictures have come to life and

now cover the museum walls

she now lives lives life happily

See what happens when you believe

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Copyright 2014 Felina Silver Robinson, “Believe”©

 

 

 

 


My heart belongs to the future and the the past

every thought, idea or dream is a part of who I am and who I am yet to become

each memory or experience is a piece of my trademark

no matter what you tell me it won’t and can’t change my direction

for its not the first time I’ve made this trip

I’ve been on this never-ending rollercoaster

It doesn’t allow stops, but occasionally I find new passengers

I never ask any questions but I always wonder why

But who am I to think I can change anything

I didn’t ask for this extended trip

but yet I’m still a passenger after all this time

Just going for yet another ride

You’d think by now that I would adjust

But no, I’m just another fool whose heart belongs to you

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Copyright 2014 Felina Silver Robinson, “My Heart”


A day at the beach©

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Green grass tickles my toes

as I lay upon my blanket

My eyes closed

Listening to the cries of the seagulls flying overhead

I feel the sun burn against my skin

I smell the salty beach ocean

and the giggles of the children as they play all about

I hear a slap against the volleyball and bodies fall against the hot sand

There is nothing more glorious than a day on the beach

I sit up and enjoy a few chapters of my favorite book

a warm breeze whips against my ears

I snack on the fruits in the picnic basket

My daughters scream as the cold water slaps against their legs

and pulls at their feet

the sun begins to set

rain starts to fall

The crowd quickly packs up

The smell of the rain heightens the smell of the ocean

as it sends us on our way ending

Just another warm summers day

◊ ♦ ♦ ◊ ♦ ♦ ◊ ♦ ♦ ◊ ♦ ♦ ◊ ♦ ♦ ◊ ♦ ♦ ◊

A day at the beach©

was written by Felina Silver Robinson

on April 8, 2014


The pain in my heart©

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Sometimes there is a pain that hurts so much

that you just can’t find the words to describe it

Your heart feels like its breaking inside out and backwards

Tears stream down your face leaving salt filled puddles

upon your keyboard and you’re not even sure why

But deep down you do know why you just can’t or won’t face it

Sometimes when you know something that is life altering

your heart tries to bury it so you don’t have to face it

But at some point you’ll have to deal with it

or someone else will do it for you

That pain may even be harder to face

True pain seeps through every pore

Through every nook and cranny

Through every vein in your body

It can even make your heart stop

Sometimes if it hurts enough

Pain can even break your heart

Please don’t let my heart get broken

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The pain in my heart©

was written by Felina Silver Robinson

on Saturday, April 5, 2014


Are we alone here?©

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We tell ourselves we’re not alone

But the truth is

Who else can really understand the pain we feel

When you find you no longer have control of your life

When you have to battle for each next breath

When you don’t know what will work won’t work

When you can only hope and pray for a miracle

You know you are truly alone

No one can feel what you feel

They can’t understand what lies ahead

You fight the fear without knowing why

You just don’t want to give up

You want to fight until your very last breath

If you fight hard enough you might just will away the sickness

Before the end comes near

and you just disappear into the never ending darkness

Know that you’re strong enough to fight the fight

and beat the beast who brings you fear

We may be alone in thought

But we are never truly alone

←←←←←↔↔↔↔↔→→→→→

Are we alone here?©

was written by Felina Silver Robinson

on Saturday, April 5, 2014


Life made by design©

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This is not who I chose to be

I have a life made by design

I do as I’m told

Schooled where I’m sent

Befriend those as directed

Study whats needed

Live where they need me

Work the jobs they have chosen for

I cry when they make me

My thoughts are not my own

I try to escape it

But I realize every attempt is useless

I’ve settled in nicely

It’s not as bad as you may think

My happiness may be manufactured

But at least I still get to laugh

Laughing means I live longer

and as long as I have life

I’m happy to live “life made by design”

◊ ♦ ♦ ◊ ♦ ♦ ◊ ♦ ♦ ◊ ♦ ♦ ◊ ♦ ♦ ◊ ♦ ♦ ◊

Life made by design©

Was written by Felina Silver Robinson

on Tuesday, April 1, 2014

 

 


The light of my life©

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The light of m life

is you

each time you smile

each time you laugh

when I hear you giggle

when you cry and you let me comfort you

when you hold my hand when you need comfort

when you snuggle beside me for warmth

when you blink those big brown eyes when you want something

when you need help because you don’t have answers

when you want to share news about your day

when you’re angry and don’t know what to say

when you want to sit and watch old movies

when you want to listen to music with me

when you want to play games

when you come to me because its just me you want to see

You are the light of my life … just because you love me

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The light of my life©

Was written by Felina Silver Robinson

on March 31, 2014


On the road to happiness©

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Happy is what I am

Family is what I have

Proud is what my family makes me

Time is what I love spending with those that are close to me

Chance is something we all have to take

Life is something we all have to live

Regret is something we all must leave behind

Change is something we must move forward with

Facts are things we have to accept

Time is what we have plenty of

Choice is something that only we can make

Responsibility is something we all must own up to

The road is what you must travel to find true happiness

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

On the road to happiness©

Was written by

Felina Silver Robinson on 03/30/14


I have a vision for tomorrow …

I have a vision for tomorrow that doesn’t include violence.
It doesn’t include intimidation or a culture of brainwashing.
My vision is for individualism and free thinking people who don’t have or need to follow the destructive decisions of a smaller majority of unhappy people.
I choose to stand proud and do things that will be remembered for the good they were meant to do.
Those who bore me and those who look up to me will see the good and forgive any imperfections.
I wish to prove that good choices and good actions will be followed and will wipe out all the bad choices of others.
When I open my eyes I will see good in all people and will no longer be sad.
I have a vision….

By Felina Silver Robinson