Archives For Life and Death


My Eyes and Ears Are Open

I’ve seen what you wanted me to see

I’ve made the changes you asked me to make

I listen to what you are saying

But somehow I’m still lost

I still can’t seem to please you

There is never any peace

I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t

I watch your every step

I’m sure to clear your path

I listen to all you say

So you never have to repeat your words

I bring you your slippers when you walk through the door

Your drink sits beside your favorite chair

Your remote lays by your side

I serve your dinner

and go on my way

Back to my book of promises

and dreams of the future

That seems a lifetime away

You have your dreams

and I have mine

They no longer seem to be one in the same

My eyes are open and I’ve watched you changing

My ears can hear you and I’ve heard your disappointment

So now I know that I must be on my way

On my way to better things

If only it could have been with you

than without you

If only your eyes had been wide open

And you had heard me speak

Copyright 2014 My Eyes and Ears Are Open© Felina Silver Robinson


Two Peas in a Pod

It’s amazes to recall that when I first saw you

It was in a small dark room

with cold gel on my belly

and a sensor roaming around in circles upon the gel

The screen showing both of you in your separate sacks

just the size of a pea

It’s so hard to believe, that you can

blossom like a beautiful flower

changing both shapes and sizes

what outstanding young women

you have both become

Both full of many things

with a will to survive

with steady drive

with mounting determination

with vast amounts of experience

with unending hope

and undying love

And I have

Commitment

Trust

Pride

Triumphs

and Joy

But most of all

I have the two of you

From the beginning to the end

I’ll always do anything

For my two peas that lived in my pod

For the two that I brought into this world

For your lives that I’ve guided

For your whole lives long

Copyright 2014 Two Peas in a Pod© Felina Silver Robinson

This poem is dedicated to my twin daughters who graduated from 8th grade

this (06.19.14) afternoon.

I’m proud of your honor roll achievements,

for your community service efforts,

for your dedication to your education,

for your respect of your teachers and your peers

but most of all,

I’m proud of you for still being you through everything

I love you Ariana and Jasmine

 

 

 

 

 


The Voice of Autism: Why does my daughter hate me

She yells at me for reasons unknown

Everything mean thing they said to her is now meant for me

There is no reasoning, no rationalization of her words or behavior

She cries thinking no one loves her

All you can do is reassure her that you are there and you care

She tells you she hates you

She calls you a liar and runs out the door

She doesn’t go far because she’s mad at the world

She knows they won’t understand her

She walks up and down and back and forth til she’s calmed herself again

She re-enters the house and asks for forgiveness

She tells me she loves me and lets me know I’m the best

What can I do, What can I say

I tell her I love her and let all the bad slip away

She calms and slips into sleep for the night

All is forgotten once again

My only hope is that tomorrow is better

That she will learn to love herself

And stop hating me

Even though she professes her love for me

Copyright 2014 The Voice of Autism: Why does my daughter hate me© Felina Silver Robinson


I head towards the tunnel

Fear settles inside me

It’s a long walk to the other side

I’m uncertain as to what awaits me

I’ve been told that all will be ok

But I only have their word

Should I trust them

What other choice do I have

With each step I tremble a little bit more

My legs feel like jello

My heart beats faster and faster

I enter almost on cue

My escort leads me to my maker

With a grin he greets me and happily says

I’m sorry to see you so soon

But I’m glad you’ve made it home

A sigh of relief is before me

All my fears melt away

Suddenly I feel a sense of belonging

No longer must you worry

for now I will be ok

I’m finally here to stay

◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊

Copyright 2014 Felina Silver Robinson, Home©

 


Are we alone here?©

←←←←←↔↔↔↔↔→→→→→

We tell ourselves we’re not alone

But the truth is

Who else can really understand the pain we feel

When you find you no longer have control of your life

When you have to battle for each next breath

When you don’t know what will work won’t work

When you can only hope and pray for a miracle

You know you are truly alone

No one can feel what you feel

They can’t understand what lies ahead

You fight the fear without knowing why

You just don’t want to give up

You want to fight until your very last breath

If you fight hard enough you might just will away the sickness

Before the end comes near

and you just disappear into the never ending darkness

Know that you’re strong enough to fight the fight

and beat the beast who brings you fear

We may be alone in thought

But we are never truly alone

←←←←←↔↔↔↔↔→→→→→

Are we alone here?©

was written by Felina Silver Robinson

on Saturday, April 5, 2014


In the New Year

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the New Year

I’ll be stronger

I won’t let anyone steal my thunder

I won’t let people step on my feelings

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the New Year

I will learn to say no when I need to

I will say yes when I want to

I will give when I’m ready

and I’ll take when I’m ready

I’ll leave when I’m done

♥ ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the New Year

I’ll be stronger

I’ll stand taller

I’ll fight harder

I’ll learn to take care of “me”

♥ ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the New Year

I’ll get to know you better

So that maybe I can love you better

I’ll sport a smile more often

I’ll even make an attempt to laugh at more of your jokes.

♥ ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the New Year

was written by

Felina Silver Robinson on 12/26/13© Continue Reading…


The land above and the land below

Death knocks at the door of the wicked

Death knocks at the door of the innocent

Spirits beckon for answers but no one responds

Can you hear me they call out

They’re lost in the swirls of deception

No one comes to lead them to destiny

Wait, an angel appears for the innocent

A creature of sorts for the wicked

The good go up

And the wicked go down

Promises made

Promises broken

No one is certain what lies ahead now

Stories told

May not be the life you are now living

Stay honest

Stay true

Only good can come to you

Here or there

Sins still follows

Best beware

Someones still always watching

Both in the land above

and the land below

——————————–

The land above and the land below

Was written by

Felina Silver Robinson on 12/17/13

 

 

 


Into the Light I Go

To all those I love and to who have loved me

I’ve lived a life full of grace

Filled with all that I had hoped to do and see

There may have been a few things left undone

But worry not, for I will not

Life’s been good for I had you in it

Life was hard, but now I can rest

I take with me all your love

That will comfort me while I’m gone

I look to you to live your lives

With love and fond memories

Not grief and sadness

Life is precious

Don’t waste time on things lost

Work to make a change and bring happiness to others

I’ll be here watching to see that you are ok

The light will protect and guide me as hope to do for you too

Here Into the Light I Go

into the light

——————————————————————————————

Into the Light I Go was Written by

Felina Silver Robinson on 11/16/13

 


This Life

We are lucky to come into this world

To take part in the opportunity of life

We often take this gift for granted

Not realizing how short our time could be

Forgetting to appreciate each moment

Making memories good or bad creates history

Life, past, present and future

For all those we love

Life will come and life will go

The time may be known but most often unknown

Take each moment and hold it tight

Keep those memories close

But don’t be afraid to make more

Give life to the unknown

Don’t live crippled by fear

Life comes once that you’ll remember

So don’t be afraid to live it

But always appreciate the gift you’ve been given

Take care of it, nurture it’s growth until its end

I’ll always hold close to “This Life”

Thank you for letting me be here in this place

Able to love, be loved,

To laugh, cry and hope

life

—————————————————————————

This Life – Written by Felina Silver Robinson

on November 9, 2013

I dedicate this poem to a friend that shared news with me

yesterday. I could have lost her, I’m glad I didn’t. She had

a surgery that ultimately saved the life she has. We are

graced with her continued presence here on this earth for

that I’m grateful as I’m grateful for all of our lives. Enjoy each

moment of your life!


World Peace

world peace

The end of poverty

poverty

The end of homelessness

The end of racism

racism

The end of death and dying

The end of un-involved parents

The end of violence

violence

The end discrimination

m and m colors

True equal rights for all

native american equal rights people equal rights

These are all the things I wish for

by Felina Silver Robinson

October 28, 2013