Archives For Life and Death


My Poem of the Day

(08/17/14)

A Wish for More Time

I haven’t seen you lately

But my thoughts are always with you

Each day that passes I wish there were more hours in the day

I wish there weren’t so many miles between us

I wish I had spent more time telling you all the things I’ve wanted to say

Now there is no chance for you to know all I had to share

I find myself wondering if you could have ever known

All that I felt for you

All the times I remember

All the days I was thankful to have you in my life

Thankful for all you had done

If I tell you now will you hear me

Will you forgive me for not telling you sooner

Will you watch over me

Will I get to see you again some day

Oh, how I wish I had more time to say all I wanted to say

And to hold you close again

Copyright 2014

A Wish for More Time©

Felina Silver Robinson


My Poem of the Day

(08/11/14)

A Final Goodbye

My depression held me prisoner

Alcohol soothed the pain

Alcohol became a problem

Those I love were more important

So drinking was forgotten

But depression still lingered about

Work kept me busy

I was definitely a lucky man

Still something was missing

I tried hard to push it out

But sometimes

No matter what you do

There are somethings that just never get worked out

So I chose my way out

I know I’ll leave you crying

I know you will be disappointed

But my pain was just too unbearable and I just wanted out

I chose to meet my maker

I’m sorry to leave you behind

But if I’m lucky

Someday we’ll meet again

And maybe just maybe

You’ll find a way to forgive me

Until then

I’ll spend my time healing

And begin to feel better

about who and what I am

Goodbye my love

Until we meet again


A Final Goodbye©

This Poem is Dedicated to the memory of Robin Williams

A Man that I will forever look up to. May he now find the happiness that was missing.


My Poem of the Day

From the Voice of Domestic Violence

(08/10/14)

Do You Know What You Mean to Me

I’m grateful that you brought me back from the darker side of life

I was stripped of who I once was

There was no rhyme and no reason

Just a man with power who was in control

He chased away all those who mattered to me

He cut me off from all I once enjoyed

No longer allowed to venture out alone

No phone calls not monitored by him

No trips to the bathroom

Calls at work being certain I was their

Check Ins required with every departure and arrival

I was trapped inside my own private hell

Bruised and beaten by a man claiming love

He said that he owned me

And would take what he wanted

When he wanted

There was no one to stop him

Everyone had gone

Everyone had scattered

Friends I thought I had

Couldn’t, just wouldn’t be bothered

Even knowing what he could do

to me and the children

I had to find freedom

From the monster I married

No one deserves to live in such fear

So when he left on his road trip for work

I changed the lock on the door

And

Sent him packing

No longer did I have to

see him, touch him, love him, be with him

You saved me

You gave me strength to stand up

And become who I once was again

I don’t have the words to tell you what that means to me

Without your care and compassion

I don’t know where or who I would be

You were there when no one else was

You knew without asking what I had been through

You passed no judgement

You just helped me get my life back

No I’m stronger than ever before

All I can do is say “Thank You”

And promise that you’ll never find me there again

Do you know what you mean to me?


Copyright 2014

Do You Know What You Mean To Me?©

From the Voice of Domestic Violence

Felina Silver Robinson


My Poem of the Day

(08/09/24)

Good-Bye Geri

Geri Randolph

Good-Bye Geri

I will miss you

My heart will hold a space for you

You go with him now

As he holds the gates open

Awaiting your arrival

Your job here is done

You’ve been an amazing mother

To your children

And to others that were not your own

You suffered deeply ailing from disease

No more agony

No more torment

Peace has now found you

And will deliver you unto the lord

All of us here will remember

All you’ve done

All you’ve been through

All you’ve meant to so many

Your only job now is to find

never-ending peace

Worry not for us

As we know with you watching down on us

All will be right with the world

We may have lost you here

But god has gained another Angel

Spread your wings and fly about the heavens

With eternal love and admiration

Your friend

Felina


Good-Bye Geri

Copyright 2014

Felina Silver Robinson


My Eyes and Ears Are Open

I’ve seen what you wanted me to see

I’ve made the changes you asked me to make

I listen to what you are saying

But somehow I’m still lost

I still can’t seem to please you

There is never any peace

I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t

I watch your every step

I’m sure to clear your path

I listen to all you say

So you never have to repeat your words

I bring you your slippers when you walk through the door

Your drink sits beside your favorite chair

Your remote lays by your side

I serve your dinner

and go on my way

Back to my book of promises

and dreams of the future

That seems a lifetime away

You have your dreams

and I have mine

They no longer seem to be one in the same

My eyes are open and I’ve watched you changing

My ears can hear you and I’ve heard your disappointment

So now I know that I must be on my way

On my way to better things

If only it could have been with you

than without you

If only your eyes had been wide open

And you had heard me speak

Copyright 2014 My Eyes and Ears Are Open© Felina Silver Robinson


Two Peas in a Pod

It’s amazes to recall that when I first saw you

It was in a small dark room

with cold gel on my belly

and a sensor roaming around in circles upon the gel

The screen showing both of you in your separate sacks

just the size of a pea

It’s so hard to believe, that you can

blossom like a beautiful flower

changing both shapes and sizes

what outstanding young women

you have both become

Both full of many things

with a will to survive

with steady drive

with mounting determination

with vast amounts of experience

with unending hope

and undying love

And I have

Commitment

Trust

Pride

Triumphs

and Joy

But most of all

I have the two of you

From the beginning to the end

I’ll always do anything

For my two peas that lived in my pod

For the two that I brought into this world

For your lives that I’ve guided

For your whole lives long

Copyright 2014 Two Peas in a Pod© Felina Silver Robinson

This poem is dedicated to my twin daughters who graduated from 8th grade

this (06.19.14) afternoon.

I’m proud of your honor roll achievements,

for your community service efforts,

for your dedication to your education,

for your respect of your teachers and your peers

but most of all,

I’m proud of you for still being you through everything

I love you Ariana and Jasmine

 

 

 

 

 


The Voice of Autism: Why does my daughter hate me

She yells at me for reasons unknown

Everything mean thing they said to her is now meant for me

There is no reasoning, no rationalization of her words or behavior

She cries thinking no one loves her

All you can do is reassure her that you are there and you care

She tells you she hates you

She calls you a liar and runs out the door

She doesn’t go far because she’s mad at the world

She knows they won’t understand her

She walks up and down and back and forth til she’s calmed herself again

She re-enters the house and asks for forgiveness

She tells me she loves me and lets me know I’m the best

What can I do, What can I say

I tell her I love her and let all the bad slip away

She calms and slips into sleep for the night

All is forgotten once again

My only hope is that tomorrow is better

That she will learn to love herself

And stop hating me

Even though she professes her love for me

Copyright 2014 The Voice of Autism: Why does my daughter hate me© Felina Silver Robinson


I head towards the tunnel

Fear settles inside me

It’s a long walk to the other side

I’m uncertain as to what awaits me

I’ve been told that all will be ok

But I only have their word

Should I trust them

What other choice do I have

With each step I tremble a little bit more

My legs feel like jello

My heart beats faster and faster

I enter almost on cue

My escort leads me to my maker

With a grin he greets me and happily says

I’m sorry to see you so soon

But I’m glad you’ve made it home

A sigh of relief is before me

All my fears melt away

Suddenly I feel a sense of belonging

No longer must you worry

for now I will be ok

I’m finally here to stay

◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊  ♦ ♦ ◊

Copyright 2014 Felina Silver Robinson, Home©

 


Are we alone here?©

←←←←←↔↔↔↔↔→→→→→

We tell ourselves we’re not alone

But the truth is

Who else can really understand the pain we feel

When you find you no longer have control of your life

When you have to battle for each next breath

When you don’t know what will work won’t work

When you can only hope and pray for a miracle

You know you are truly alone

No one can feel what you feel

They can’t understand what lies ahead

You fight the fear without knowing why

You just don’t want to give up

You want to fight until your very last breath

If you fight hard enough you might just will away the sickness

Before the end comes near

and you just disappear into the never ending darkness

Know that you’re strong enough to fight the fight

and beat the beast who brings you fear

We may be alone in thought

But we are never truly alone

←←←←←↔↔↔↔↔→→→→→

Are we alone here?©

was written by Felina Silver Robinson

on Saturday, April 5, 2014


In the New Year

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the New Year

I’ll be stronger

I won’t let anyone steal my thunder

I won’t let people step on my feelings

♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the New Year

I will learn to say no when I need to

I will say yes when I want to

I will give when I’m ready

and I’ll take when I’m ready

I’ll leave when I’m done

♥ ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the New Year

I’ll be stronger

I’ll stand taller

I’ll fight harder

I’ll learn to take care of “me”

♥ ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the New Year

I’ll get to know you better

So that maybe I can love you better

I’ll sport a smile more often

I’ll even make an attempt to laugh at more of your jokes.

♥ ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In the New Year

was written by

Felina Silver Robinson on 12/26/13© Continue Reading…